A Death Note Christmas carol
by kerisu
Summary: Set in 2009 CONTAINS SEVERE SPOILERS Light Yagami is visited by 3 ghosts that try to get him to feel remorse for his Kira escapades.
1. Chapter 1: Bah Humbug!

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 1: "Bah, Humbug!"**

Matsuda yawned. It was 8:49 on Christmas eve. Matsuda had been dozing off for the past half-hour.

"Hey Boss," He said gingerly, "Ya' think that since tomorrow's Christmas an' all… you could… ya' know…" he looked up at Light Yagami, who glanced at him briefly to confirm that he could hear him, "Give me the day off?"

"Sure, Matsuda," Light replied without looking at him, "And Maybe Kira can sing Christmas Carols. You think Kira takes the day off, Matsuda?"

Matsuda sighed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm sorry, I just… I don't know…"

"I didn't expect you to." Said Light, "Besides, I need those Takuma reports tomorrow."

"But you just gave me those yesterday!" Matsuda Protested.

"Haven't you been working on them?"

"Well, a little…" Matsuda looked at his feet, "I was Christmas shopping for my friends and family yesterday…"

"Well presents won't do them much good if they're dead, will they?"

Matsuda hung his head.

Just then, Mr. Yagami came in with a big grin on his face. "Light! Matsu!" He shouted jovially, "What are you still doing here? There's a party back at home! Misa's set up mistletoe and everything!"

"Could you wish mom and Sayu Merry Christmas for me?"

"What?" Mr. Yagami was flabbergasted, "Aren't you coming?"

"No. Kira's not going to catch himself."

"Well, I'll go!" Matsuda volunteered.

"You will?" asked Mr. Yagami, delighted that his invitation was not in vain.

"Hells Yeah!" Matsuda exclaimed, grabbing his coat and briefcase.

"Have a good time!" Light shouted after them, "Oh, and Matsuda?"

"Yes?"

"Don't bother coming in to work tomorrow," said Light, and before Matsuda could thank him, he added: "Or any day after that!"

* * *

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol". 


	2. Chapter 2: Marley

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 2: "Marley"**

Later that night, Light Yagami was asleep on the couch in room 297 of the big hotel that was the team's headquarters. It was 12:00 am when Light was awoken by a strange noise. It sounded like Matsuda, except he was moaning spookily like a ghost.

"Matsuda?" Light queried, "Is that you? Are you drunk?"

"Liiiiiiiiight Yaaaaagaaaaaaaaaammiiiiiii!" the voice called as a ghostly Matsuda walked through the closed door. He had briefcases, computers and a filing cabinet chained to him.

"What the Hell are you doing, Matsuda?" asked a very annoyed Light.

"I came—I mean—I caaaaaaame to waaaarn--"

"Knock it off," Light commanded, "You sound ridiculous."

"I came to warn you about the three other ghosts that are going to "visit" you tonight."

Light rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I get it," he said, "I'm Scrooge, am I? And I suppose you're Marley, being weighted down by… records of your misdeeds?"

"No," said Matsuda, "These are all the Kira files you've made me go through. Every dead-end case, every near miss, every invasion of innocent people's privacy, every false arrest, all the stress I've been through, every all-nighter I've pulled!"

"Well, you want to catch Kira, don't--"

"Face it, Light," Matsuda shouted, "We'll never catch Kira! Ever since L died, things have only been getting slowly worse!"

Light wondered why Matsuda was bringing this up now, totally forgetting that he had fired him only hours before.

"We're working o--"

"We're working day and night! Only you get rests on your dates with Misa Misa!"

"You--"

"I haven't gotten laid in years!" exclaimed Matsuda, "Yet, every night you're in bed with… with… Hotty McHotstuff!" as soon as Matsuda was done ranting, he gasped.

"Oh, man…" he looked at his watch, "I gotta' go. See ya'!" and with that, he sunk into the floor, filing cabinet and all.

* * *

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol". 


	3. Chapter 3: The Ghost of Christmas Past

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 3: "The Ghost of Christmas Past"**

Just then, something very strange happened… not as strange as Matsuda sinking into the floor, mind you… but still strange. He heard a clock strike midnight, but the only clock in the room was digital. He also felt a cold blast of wind, despite the room's utter lack of windows. He noticed that the room had suddenly gotten darker… Light felt as though there was something rather large blocking the lamplight. He turned around, and confirmed his premonition. He almost yelped in surprise

"REM!" he managed to say, "What, I, you're… I mean, how…?"

Rem looked down on Light Yagami.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas past." She said. "You're supposed to come with me."

At that moment, Yagami regained his usual skepticism.

"Oh, come on." He said, and he reached out to touch Rem and prove he was dreaming. He was a little surprised to find that Rem was solid, and had about the average body temperature for a Shinigami… (about 60° Fahrenheit.)

Light looked up at Rem, hoping this was all part of the dream. Rem looked down at Light and smiled. Suddenly, she grabbed Light's hand and spread her wings.

"What are you doing?" demanded Light, "You can't fly in here, there's no rooOOO—"

And with that, Rem lifted them both off of the ground, and phased them both through the window.

The cold winter air was an unwelcome change to the cozy warmth of the hotel. Rem let Light dangle from her left arm, he was shouting something, but the wind rushing past them made it impossible for even a Shinigami to hear a human. Not that she cared, either way.

Light began to loose feeling in every part of his body as it was slowly succumbing to frostbite. Light had no idea where they were going. Not that it mattered; he wouldn't be able to do anything about it if he did. After what seemed like hours, but was, in fact, 20 seconds, Rem and Light landed at the exact same place they had taken off from. Light blinked, glanced around the room, and gave Rem that oh-my-God-you've-got-to-be-kidding-me glare.

"Shall we go in?" asked Rem, looking into Light's resentful and condescending eyes.

"Rem--" Light was planning on asking Rem just what the Hell was going on, but in that second, she swooped down to the ground floor and through several levels of security and stopped behind Matsuda… a younger Matsuda.

Light was examining Matsuda's face from the side, and then slowly crept up in front of him. He looked almost ten years younger! He waved a hand in front of his face. Matsuda blinked.

"Matsuda isn't the one you should be paying attention to." Rem informed Light, who then turned to look at what Matsuda was looking at.

It was L. And what appeared to be a re-enactment of the Sino-Japanese war played out on the table with yellow chick and pink bunny peeps. Light rolled his eyes. _This is turning into the Christmas Carol_, he thought to himself, _Next, I'll be leaving Misa in the cold because she runs up my credit card._

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol".


	4. Chapter 4: Bunnies Vs Chicks

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 4: "Bunnies Vs. Chicks"**

"I've gathered you all here because I trust you all more than the others." said L, advancing a chick peep onto an unsuspecting pink bunny.

"But," Matsuda inquired, "There's only three of us…"

"That's correct."

"So you're saying," Mogi added, "that there are only three pe-"

"Correct."

"So," Light's father started, "What's so confidential that you could only tell the three of us?"

"I am absolutely positive that Light is Kira. And so is Misa."

The already hushed meeting seemed to quiet down. (Think negative decibels)

"Oh?" was all that Mr. Yagami could say. "How did you figure that out?"

Although his facial expression didn't change, L had a certain glint in his eye whenever he explained how he got to the bottom of anything. He looked up at the Task Force Chief with that I'm-about-to-blow-your-mind-eye-twinkley-thing, and said:

"Well, for starters," L picked up the sugary pink bunny with two fingers and dropped it in his mouth. "Everything except for their alibis and the fact that they were locked up for longer than the rules said they could break from killing--"

"That's the whole thing!" Yagami interjected, "There's no Way that Light or Misa could be Either Kira if…" he fell from his outburst after noticing the look that L was giving him. The look that said I'm-right-and-you-know-it-so-why-don't-you-shut-up-and-listen-to-what-I-called-you-here-to-say-in-the-first-place. (usually this would be a menacing look, but L had a mouthful of marshmallow)

"Anyway, I took the liberty of deciphering the length of time that each entry has been in the notebook of death. The rules that would have sealed Light and Misa's fates are written significantly afterward." L surrounded a yellow chick with pink bunnies while he waited for his genius to sink in.

"Oh My God." Matsuda stated after a while. "Light could have written those rules in after the fact, and planned out the whole lock-down"

"Correct, Matsu." L said, as a yellow chick attempted to rescue his comrade. "Or, at least, he could've gotten someone to write it for him."

"You mean, control them before killing them?"

"That's probably not the case." Said L, as the chick fell right into a devastating bunny ambush. "It's more likely that he got a shinigami to do it for him."

"But, Rem won't tell us anything" Matsuda whined.

"Not Rem," L explained, as the chick triumphantly escaped from the ambush of bunnies only to land in L's mouth "Another shinigami."

Mogi, Matsuda and Mr. Yagami sat down and waited for further explanation.

"Rem said there were other Shinigami with other deathnotes." He paused for that to sink in and to swallow the chick. "Every Kira gets one Shinigami and one Deathnote." He paused again to eat the commanding bunny, hoping that by now, at least Yagami would understand what he was trying to explain. However, all that was going through Yagami's mind was: '…if he stuffs himself with any more sweets he'll be a piñata…'

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol".


	5. Chapter 5: any title ideas

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 5: Any Ideas for a Chapter Title?**

None of them answered for a long time. Matsuda was the first to speak (as usual) "If Kira is a human, why would a Shinigami do what he tells it to?"

"I have come to the conclusion," He explained, while taking a chick prisoner, "That Shinigami aren't that smart."

"How do you Figure?" Matsuda asked.

"Well," L bit off the chick's tail to persuade it to tell the bunnies its secrets. "Take Rem, for example. Everything she's been saying sounds rehearsed. Like someone told her to say or not to say anything."

Mr. Yagami asked the question that everyone was thinking: "But what would a Death God have to gain by defending a human?"

L thought for a minute. Just staring at the small pile of sugar-coated marshmallow animals.

"I don't know yet." He said after a while.

"Oh!" Matsuda exclaimed, "What if humans can use the Death Notes to control the Shinigami! Like Blackmail or something!" he seemed very excited and proud of his idea.

"How would that work?" Mogi asked. No one could blame him for doubting any of Matsuda's ideas.

Matsuda was eager to explain his theory.

"Ya' see, okay… let's say that Death Notes are in the Shinigami realm, where they make them. And they make them because in order to keep the balance of human and god, the Gods choose a human to decide who dies. But with the death Note there are certain unwritten rules, to keep the human from getting all genocidal. But this time, the Death Note fell into the hands of a genius who felt that since he had the power to kill people from a distance; it was his duty to kill the criminals, so that only the good people get to breed."

"That's some twisted logic." Said Mogi, who seemed a little frightened by Matsuda's theory.

"We're supposed to think like Kira in order to catch him, right?"

"Yes." Said L. They all turned to him with stunned faces. "You actually came up with something good there."

They were all too surprised that Matsuda had, after only a year of working on the case, had finally proven himself useful. Even Matsuda was a little skeptical towards L's remark. So they all waited silently for an explanation as L stared at the corner of the ceiling, slowly chewing the stubborn chick.

"It's possible." He said at last. Matsuda grinned. He rarely got to feel important. Everybody else seemed just as hopeful. It seemed that they had gotten one step closer to catching Kira.

"But," L continued, "It seems like the plot to some Manga."

"Someone would have to be pretty disturbed to come up with a plot like that."

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol".


	6. Chapter 6: The Point

**A Death Note Christmas Carol**

**Chapter 6**

After the rest of the team left, Mr. Yagami turned to L.

"So you really think it's him?"

Rem nudged Light awake. "This is the part you need to listen to."

"I know it's him." L replied.

"You have evidence?"

"Yes. Substantial."

"Then why the run-around?"

"I know it's selfish…" explained L, "But Light is my first ever friend… and I kind of have a crush on Misa… I'd really rather them not get the death penalty… or life in prison…"

"But, why not tell the rest of the team?"

L sat silently, and then said: "I want Light to see the people he's hurting, and maybe give up the notebook. He'd lose all recollection of it or the powers it gave him… but he has to give it up first."

"Are you sure it's not just not another fake rule?" Yagami asked, "Maybe he doesn't even know what he's doing now."

"No." said L, confidently, "It's a real rule. And Light knows what he's doing."

Light's legs began to feel tired, so he turned to Rem.

"what's the point of all this?"

Rem looked down at him.

"He was your friend, not your enemy," she said "He was trying to help you the whole time that you were trying to hurt him."

"So, are we almost done?" he asked.

"Almost," said R" Rem said, disappointed. "You still need to still need to see Misa."

"Okay, let's get this over with."

"Misa's dead." Said Rem.

"Dead?" Light asked, mildly shocked.

"She cut her original lifespan in half… twice. She's dead, now."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, you're not."

Light hung his head. He felt ashamed for not feeling the appropriate amount of grief.

"So, yeah, we're done," Rem broke the silence, "I'll take you home."

"Finally. I don't see how—" Light stopped speaking. Rem was gone. He looked around and noticed that he was in his bedroom. Misa was in their bed, still alive, but asleep.

Light tried to get into bed next to Misa without waking her, but he pulled back the covers, he yelped and jumped back.

L was in his bed, sucking on the end of a candy cane. "Merry Christmas, Light."

I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters in the manga, Anime, or live-action movie. Likewise, I am totally ripping off Charles Dickens, who created "A Christmas Carol".


End file.
